Dad, I'm sorry ...

Yesterday morning I said something I didn't mean to. I just can't stand my mum constant nagging, till scolding, till screaming ....

You wouldn't understand what's it like to live in this house. It's insane. I hate it totally. I really do. But I have to live with it. I just dun understand her. It's the same thing everyday! Maybe dad just can't get the phlegm out? Maybe he really had difficulty doing it and not because he purposely don't want to spit it out? Who would do it on purpose in order to get a nasty scolding anyway? Only the perverted will do that! My gosh. And please, dad is not like any normal person!

And I just can't stand it. For godness sake please! It my Saturday morning off finally (I don't have to work) and I just wanted some peace and rest! Why does she has to start nagging and screaming everyday once you are awake? And sometimes even when you are still sleeping! What's all these for? I'm dying to get her to shut up and leave me with silence! And so I said it. I said it when I came out of the bathroom. I said you are really noisy! Can you not start scolding once you are awake? And she said we don't know how difficult and hard it is to look after dad. And in a slip of my tongue I retorted: "Then just dun care about him!"

There was immediate silence thereafter. Until I went out of the house.

I got what I wanted - silence. But my mind was not peaceful at all. I didn't mean to say that. I really don't. Of course I care about you. You are my dad! But please dad, if you really appreciate our love and care, then please strive to stand and walk again! Don't just sit down and wait to be served all day, or just sleep all the time!

I'm sorry dad. Although I didn't tell you that. Although I didn't try to explain myself after I said it. But that's just me. Im not used to doing all these in this household. And also because I know it's pointless. But I just wanna say I'm sorry ok...